


if I had to go through Hell and back to save you (of course I would)

by OnyxSphynx



Series: newmann one-shots [26]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018) Compliant, heavy on the hurt light on the comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 22:26:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17989646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyxSphynx/pseuds/OnyxSphynx
Summary: Newt lied to Hermann(Just not in the way he had thought)





	if I had to go through Hell and back to save you (of course I would)

**Author's Note:**

> for the anon prompt: “Could you do Newmann 8) “People lie all the time, that’s life.””

“Hermann! Hey, man, what’s up?” Newt yells over the phone, the background noise partly obscuring his voice. “I’m in Tokyo right now––Shao wants me to take a look at the new labs. I tried to call you, but I got voice-mail, so…anyway, I just wanted to say I…you know what, this is stupid. Bye.”

The line clicks, and Hermann plays the next one. There’s a few seconds of silence, and then, Newt says, “…hi, Herms. I think I’m…I don’t know, I––” there’s a clattering noise, and Newt hisses, “ _shit_. Alice––I gotta go. Say hi to Mako for me––”

The message ends, and Hermann stares off blankly at the wall. His fingers are white against the case, trembling lips pressed into a tight line. By his side, Mako raises a hesitant hand, presses it against his shoulder in an attempt at comfort.

“Are you sure you want to listen to the rest?” she asks softly, and Hermann nods, shakily. He feels like the weight of a Jaeger is crushing him, the breath ripped from his lungs. The messages are from the last week, but something about the next one seems…off. Colder.

“Hermann, my man, I’m just calling to say, uh––hey, you remember that job I got, with, uh, Shao Industries? Well, I mean, how could you forget, since I’m, like, on the news _allllll_ the time,” he lets out a laugh. Something’s…Hermann can’t pinpoint it, but what should be a familiar sound is…alien. Newt continues. “I just wanted to ask if you wanted to meet up? Since I’m probably gonna be coming down for the uh, presentation thingy. You can meet Alice!” He lets out another laugh, this one higher and more cheery. “Call me back, yeah?”

The line clicks dead again, and that’s the last of the messages. Hermann’s eyes are watery, and he scrubs at them uselessly, shoulders shaking slightly. Mako’s hand moves to rub his back. “I…apologize,” she says. “For your loss. It…” she hesitates. “When I lost Raleigh, it was like…a part of myself went silent forever. It must be awful, to be separated from Doctor Geiszler like this.”

“It is what it is,” Hermann croaks, desperately trying to force his voice not to wobble. “And he…I’m happy for him, that he’s got a more prestigious position, and he…he sounds happy, with this Alice. I cannot begrudge him for having moved on instead of clinging to the past.”

They both know he’s lying––he’s never been good at concealing things when it comes to Newt.

* * *

After the…incident in his office, with Newt dismissing his research, Hermann tries not to cry. There’s something about the way that Newt, once dangerously eager about such things dismissing his research that hurts like nothing else. He swallows it back and says, “We should catch up. There’s a new café downtown that looks promising.”

He doesn’t comment on the other’s change in wardrobe; he’s not sure what to say, and he doesn’t want to think about the way it makes his heart twinge.

A smile curls at Newt’s lips. “Yeah, man, that sounds great.”

The cafe is––small. The interior is oddly decorated, and reminds Hermann, painfully, of Newt’s side of the lab when they worked together, the color-scheme a wild yet somehow fittingly mismatched. He bites back a comment. Somehow, he doesn’t think that this Newt will appreciate it.

“So, Hermann,” Newt grins at him, swirling his straw in his bubble tea. “What’ve you been up to lately?”

“Not much,” Hermann sighs, “whoever’s running the PPDC has decided to relegate me to what is probably the smallest lab in the basement.”

Newt’s jaw is set, for a second, as if he wants to start shouting, but it’s gone so quickly Hermann thinks he must’ve imagined it. Instead, he says, “That sucks, dude. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner? Maybe you can finally meet Alice!”

The sudden change of subject throws Hermann for a loop, and he gapes for a moment, before anger sets in. “ _No_. Absolutely _not_ ,” he snaps. This time, it’s Newt’s turn to gape at him.

“Whyever not?”

Hermann grits his teeth, tries to stem back tears. “I don’t want to talk about this here,” he hisses.

Newt frowns at him. “Wh––”

“You said you would _stay with me_ ,” Hermann growls, trying to keep his voice down. “You said you loved me, and you wanted to grow old with me, and then you ran off to Shao industries, and next thing I know, you’ve got a––a girlfriend, or a wife, or whatever––”

“Hermann––”

“No, shut _up_ ,” Hermann hisses, anger a sharp undertone. “I _believed_ you, Newton. I put my trust in you, and you betrayed me.”

Newt’s still, lips pursed, and he says, levelly, “People lie all the time, that’s life.”

Hermann’s teeth hurt from the pressure he’s putting on them. With trembling fingers, he reaches under his collar and unclasps the chain around his neck, waves it in front of Newt. At the end dangles a ring, identical to the skull one Newt himself once wore. “I’m through with you,” he spits, tosses the chain down on the table, and storms out.

Newt doesn’t try to follow him.

* * *

After it all goes down, after they capture Newt––the _Precursors,_ he reminds himself, _not Newt_ ––they give him free reign to Newt’s apartment. The entire thing is horrendous––new-age impressionist pieces and high-end alcohol, and it feels unwelcome. Unlived in. As if it’s straight out of one of those interior-design magazines.

Hidden in a corner under the bed he finds a box. It’s got a papers–– _letters_ , Hermann realizes, throat tight, and a few photos of the two of them. There’s one of the two of them, standing in front of a shark exhibit at an aquarium, Newt’s arm thrown around Hermann’s shoulder, the two of them grinning at the camera. 

It’s dated a week before Newt’s acceptance of Shao’s offer. On the back, in shaky handwriting, it reads, _I’m so sorry, Hermann_. 

He lets out a silent sob, presses the photo to his chest. 

A glint catches his eye, at the bottom of the box; he pulls out the remaining items. At the very bottom of the box is the chain with Hermann’s ring on it. And next to it on the chain is it’s twin.

Hermann lifts it carefully, reverently from its resting place, and slips it around his neck. Tears sting at his eyes, and he recalls Newt’s promise. 

_I’ll always be here for you_.

He silently mouths his reply from all those years ago. 

_And I shall be there for you._


End file.
